Audio: Toni Packer 1999

The following talks by Toni Packer are available on audio tape only.

February 1999 Retreat

Day 1	Where do our worries take place? Tiredness. A new wondering. Establishing authority.
Day 2	What is the foundation or practice here? Breathing. Defensiveness.
Day 3	The haze of inattention. Letting things be. The sense of urgency. What's left when the illusions about ourselves are dropped?
Day 5	The urgency to come to clarity. Can the realization of the wholeness of life actualize in our daily life? Falling silent with what is.
Day 6	Why do you call the "me" an illusion? The urge to survive and defend. The conditioned ideas of what is right and wrong. What is community?

April 1999 Retreat

Day 1	Is it possible to listen without attitude? Becoming aware of the movements of body/mind that inhibit listening. Do the talks set up ideals in the listener's mind? Creating and fighting authority.
Day 2	How can we be with pain? Can we start from not knowing how to deal with it? Meditative listening. What does it really mean to be in this moment?
Day 3	What is awareness? Is it always there? Is it a process?
Day 5	Why did I come here just to sit with all this inane mental churning? Can judgement end? Why does Toni talk so much about the mind and so little about the heart? What's wrong with having a personality?
Day 6	Is thinking always bad? Isn't there a value scale to our actions? Shouldn't we do good works? How will things be when I get home from retreat?

June 1999 Retreat

Day 1	Living in the story of myself. Not going with habits. How do we listen to this expecting body/mind? Authority.
Day 2	What is authority? Creating and depending on authority. How does it impact one's looking for oneself? The fear of being viewed as an authority. Listening to criticism vulnerably.
Day 3	What's wrong with coming here with expectations? How can it be that with years of sitting we still get angry and upset? Is there a place for discipline?
Day 5	Does attending require effort? In attending is there an avoidance of one's personal problems? Free choice.
Day 6	Does it really matter whether we wake up or not? Is there such a thing as complete enlightenment? Can we stay with the inner feelings of insufficiency? Beholding the whole process of thought.

July 1999 Retreat

Day 1	How do we listen to ourselves? What is this "I"? What is our relationship when we don't play roles?
Day 2	What are we doing in sitting? How can we be in touch with pain and anger? Discerning the fine line between what presents itself and spinning a story.
Day 3	How can we live with this Niagara of thoughts? Can there be a switch from thinking to quiet observing? Judgment. Am I living with story right now?
Day 5	What is awareness really? What is consciousness? Is there such a thing as partial awareness?
Day 6	Is there something that is conducive to awareness? How do we affect others? What is meaningful work?

August 1999 Retreat

Day 1	What prevents true listening? Allowing awareness without judging what is seen. Methods and wondering. Motives for wanting to be an authority.
Day 2	What is the practice? Resistance to really touching fear. Effortlessness. What is the observer? Being "at home."
Day 3	Where is this feeling of separation coming from? The art of living together. Honesty.
Day 4	Where is the presence in a group meeting? What do we mean by honesty? Ego - the difficulty of seeing it. Discontent and wanting.
Day 7	Stillness, openness. Why do you focus on psychological problems? Difference between investigating and aloofness. Can one question in stillness, or does it crumble then?
Day 8	Envy and jealousy. Precepts and mindfulness practice. Looking at problems realistically. Trust in this work. Why sitting quietly? What is meditation?
Day 9	Insights and conceptualization. The safety of no anchorage. What are we beyond our personality? Sorrow and suffering. The creativity of seeing.

November 1999 Retreat

Opening Talk	Memories. Can we communicate in a non-habitual way? Freedom from sorrow. Thinking cannot solve our fundamental problem. The mind that knows no opposites. Everything is taken care of. Silence.
Day 1	Unfolding of a new sensitivity. Witnessing what is actually taking place, without judgment. What is connectedness? Pain of confusion. Helping each other understand hurt in a new way. What is connectedness? Space for others.
Day 2	Relationships and personal freedom. Confusion. What is freedom? To be at one with a given situation. What is love? Self-centeredness and defensiveness. Listening space.
Day 3	Is awareness enough? Memories creating sorrow, pain; where is the abiding place? The immovability of awareness. Learning about the conditioned mind. Awareness needs no objects. What is meditation?
Day 6	Thinking and not-knowing. Tips on posture and eyes. Inertia and effort. Laughter and humor. Fear of losing one's mind. Why are we so caught up? Questions as an opening to discovering. What are we beyond all these thoughts?