Audio: Toni Packer 1998

The following talks by Toni Packer are available on audio tape only.

February 1998 Retreat

Day 1	What makes it so hard to listen to each other? Can there be an awaring of thoughts without getting caught up in their content? Striving to be aware.
Day 2	Just sitting here quietly - is that enough or is there something more? Touching what's here and now without any mediation and without making anything out of it. Boredom - withdrawal from stimulation. Is it possible to discover the self-centered context in which we live?
Day 3	What is the context of fear? Self-defensiveness. Does talking in meetings and groups help to really discover what is going on with oneself? Entering into loneliness and fear.
Day 5	Coming back to the moment - where are we coming from and where are we going back to? Aren't there positive aspects to this self? The entanglement of imagination as opposed to our natural needs and impulses. Is it wrong to be inspired by stories?
Day 6	Are we here with this moment or are we here with what thought makes out of this moment? Self-image. Why do we have to be anything? Is it possible to abstain from defining ourselves? Self-evaluation and comparison.

April 1998 Retreat

Day 1	Listening together freshly. Can we become aware of our habitual ways of listening? Coming upon wanting and discontent. Can we question together without creating authority or subordination?
Day 2	What is the right thing to do here? Practice. What does it mean to be really in touch with fear? Is there a resistance to feeling it? What is meant by silent space?
Day 3	What is the root of judgment? Does this work need some faith? Is it possible not to be deceived by thoughts and feelings about ourselves and others?
Day 5	Addiction to explanations. Is it all right not to know? Judging judgment. Don't some things need to be judged? The intoxicating quality of thought. What is my innermost core?
Day 6	Do talks help or do they create more misunderstanding? If attention comes on it's own why is it such an effort to be attentive? Getting caught in the idea of getting awareness.

June 1998 Retreat

Day 1	What is right listening? Fault finding. The security of habit. The need to take a stand for or against. Authority.
Day 2	The difficulty of sitting here with this conditioning and not being able to let go of it. Is this what this work is - endlessly watching this body/mind? Does it ever end? Categorizing ourselves and others.
Day 3	In talking about listening we're not just referring to the ears. This listening transcends the senses. Is this stillness accessible everywhere? Fear. The deep lying assumption that fear can't be touched. Anger.
Day 5	How do we live with the accumulated residue of our collective painful past? Are there really two realms of being - a conditioned world and a vast open one?
Day 6	What do we mean by "me"? The concept that there is an owner to this body/mind. The defensive, protective mode of the "me" network.

July 1998 Retreat

Day 1	Are we here? From where does the listening arise this moment? Is there expectation going on right now? Authority. Resistance to listening.
Day 2	Tiredness in retreat. How do we see each other? What is my practice here? Using a device to get away from the intimacy of what's happening here.
Day 3	Judgment. What maintains it? Is there a need to judge in order to confirm one's existence as somebody worthwhile? Feelings of inferiority. Forgiveness. Guilt and the fear of punishment.
Day 5	The feeling of me as a separate being. What do we mean by questioning? Responsibility. Who is the responsible doer? The ability to respond.
Day 6	Is it possible to be with each other without past history? Are we threatened by the idea that we may not be what we think we are? Is life a constant movement between creation and destruction?

August 1998 Retreat

Day 1	Can we realize together that everything is happening in a vast space? Listening is neither yours nor mine. Watching reaction. What's being said here needs to be understood for oneself.
Day 2	What does it mean to sit quietly? The habitual compulsion to move away from what is. The fear of losing control. Questioning meditatively.
Day 3	What can be done about this constant mental commotion? Yearning for peace and quiet. Differentiating between consciousness and awareness. Self-consciousness.
Day 4	Fear of darkness. What do we come here for? Should one make an effort?
Day 7	Is being here enough? Are we responsible? Responsibility and choice. Presence.
Day 8	Isn't it natural to have expectations? Engagement with thought. Fear of death.
Day 9	The art of living. Why do you say the ego is an illusion? Are we separate? What does it mean to say one is the wind or the trees?

November 1998 Retreat

Day 1	How non-reactively can we listen? How simply can we let everything be? Is it necessary to cling to something that was? Images of authority.
Day 2	Concentration. What do we want to get with our concentration? Our general dismay at having so many thoughts in retreat. How does effort relate to the work of the moment? What does it mean to relax? The habitual need to know and identify. Can we trust not to know? Questioning.
Day 5	Anger. What is anger? Does it need to be expressed? Are we interested in tracing it? Why do we stay angry; what maintains it? Fear of angry people.
Day 6	If everything is whole and undivided, why do we say that the ego is separate? What is the ego? Living in images. What brings about this feeling of alienation? How do I return home from retreat?